Appreciation

Interesting topic I’ve had in mind the last few days. And by interesting, I mean personally problematic.

I really don’t appreciate people as much as I should. Little things like saying thanks or reciprocating a ‘how are you doing’ I’m getting better at. I could still stand to improve, it’s still stalled and robotic, but I am getting better. It’s things like showing my appreciation for things friends do that show that they are friends.

This of course, falls under the jurisdiction of private matters that won’t have many examples. I’m so sorry to my English professor, but I’m 99% sure she doesn’t read this, so I should be fine. To be more precise, she should be fine.

When a friend says something encouraging, I smile, but otherwise barely acknowledge it. If they’re just generally awesome people, I probably won’t acknowledge it.

I’ve particularly noticed this lack of appreciation in my practice of faux therapy. Twice in as many weeks I have had a friend come to me and tell me of a struggle they are having and asking for advice. I will say that I enjoy performing this faux therapy, aside from my friends being in crises, and like to think I am at the very least somewhat beneficial. In all of this, I’ve become acutely aware that I do not naturally thank these friends for trusting me enough to tell me of their woes.

I’ve noticed it a lot also when my friends are my friends. I don’t have many friends. I am perhaps too picky in whom I call my friend. To be my friend, I have to be comfortable around you, and that is very difficult for me. Therefor, the very fact that I call someone a friend is a big deal to me, but I don’t show that.

This is particularly more rambly than other posts, and I don’t have a place I’m going with it. I know that not all of my friends read this blog, so there’s no point in appreciating them here. I can’t just post it on Facebook because of Facebook’s curation perhaps causing some of my friends to miss the post. What I really need to do is actually tell them, face-to-face, that I am thankful they are my friend.

And I know I said I wasn’t going to do it, but thank you. If I am comfortable around you, that’s because of you. If I talk freely, if I act weird, or if I initiate something with you, then thank you, you’re awesome.

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