Suffering

Hello, emotions, long time no see. What’s that? You want to write a blog post? Sure, what’s the worst that could happen…

Preface: I’m probably not talking about you, because I don’t think the person I’m talking about reads my blog.

I have a friend that’s been going through hell recently, and every time we talk, my heart breaks. They are barely holding together, and I can’t do anything about it. I hardly ever see them, and even when I do, what can I say to them that will help? I’ve already said the cliche things to the effect of “I’ve been there” and “It gets better”.

The worst thing is that I don’t even know if I believe that. I don’t think I have been where they are, and I have no idea whether it will actually get better. I pray it will (almost every night), but I don’t know if that is a part of God’s plan.

I can’t do anything to help them.

I hate being helpless.

Helplessness is crippling. When you know there’s nothing at all you can do to change a situation, why bother doing anything at all? Being helpless is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is a trap of an emotion, and therefor not an emotion at all.

Emotions are pure, neither good nor bad. It is what we do with them that makes them good or bad. I describe my mind as having various voices. Similar to Freud, I include a voice named ‘Id’ in my line of voices, however, unlike Freud, Id is a purely malevolent voice. Id takes the pure emotions and twists them into stories to be used to put me down a dark path. Helplessness is one such story of Id’s. Why?

I may not be able to do anything on my own, but God can. All I can do is keep doing what I’m doing; keep supporting my friend. My friend is not saved, and all I can do is be a light. It’s up to God to help them out of the darkness.

It has become a cliche verse at this point, but Psalm 23:4 (“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me“) is quite applicable here. My friend and I both walk through the same valley, but I have God at my side.

I want them to see Him so badly, but if I’ve learned one thing from my walk with God, it’s patience. So I’ll just keep on being there for them every step of the way, and I pray God will shine His light through me ever stronger.

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